Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Standardze ov english r az gud az eva sez Blair

Call me old fashioned, but I would have thought it would have been reasonable to expect that teachers knew how to spell properly. Whilst reviewing some work set for my daughter, I came across the following section of data:

"Potatoe","V","W","tbsp",4,6,57

What makes this even worse, is that this data was supplied by the exam board Edexcel as part of the official coursework material. The fact that the people setting the questions at the examination board can't spell properly is bad enough. That they are so slack that nobody even checks their work is unforgivable.

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

The wisdom of British Gas

Extracts from today's conversation with the intellectual giants of British Gas's amusing titled "customer services" department.....

Q: "I'm ringing to find out why my direct debit has gone from £52 a month to £122"
A: "Because that's how much you owe" How helpful

Q: "But why has the account risen to such a level without my knowledge"
A:"What's probably happened is that you've used a lot of gas, for example, if your thermostat is turned up high or er...you've used it a lot" No shit, Einstein

Q:"But I can't afford £122 a month"
A:" All I can advise is that you pay the outstanding amount to bring the account up to date" If I can't afford 122, it's unlikely I'll be able to afford the 530 you say I owe - f***wit

Q:"So why have you not told me about this before?"
A "We sent a bill on 30th March"
Q:" But it's the 11th of April - where is it?"
A:"It can take up to 2 weeks to reach you" What kind of stamps are you using?

I could go on, but it's just too depressing. The thing that really upsets me is not just their total incompetance ( I have been trying to sort out this account since LAST OCTOBER!) but the fact that by employing such morons, they clearly think each and every customer is just a piece of shit to be talked down to.

Monday, 9 April 2007

For Queen and Country

There is much discussion at the moment about the decision by the MoD to allow the 15 captured sailors to sell their stories to the media. One of the detainees appeared on tv today, commenting that "Somebody is going to make some money out of this, why not the people that were there?" Interesting, that a serving officer should choose to talk about money, as opposed to honour or duty. The sheer incompetence of allowing 15 armed UK service personnel to be captured two miles inside their own territorial waters is one thing, but to further compound that disgrace by handling it as if it was somekind of reality tv show is almost beyond belief. The chain-smoking single mother at the centre of the row (what a perfect exemplar of Tony Blair's Britain) assures us that "a percentage" of the six figure sum will be going to charity. Well, that's alright then.

On a day when another six soldiers were killed in Tony Blair's pointless war, we are supposed to feel sympathy for this group. Maybe somebody should have told these people that a career in the armed services does, unfortunately, carry with it a degree of risk and that they may be required to face unpleasant and life-threatening situations. Maybe somebody should point out that, generally speaking, they are supposed to fire the weapons they have been given rather than just hand them over like a bunch of naughty schoolchildren. Moreover, as members of Her Majesty's Armed Services, they are expected to handle themselves with dignity and with a sense of duty - rather than cash - uppermost in their minds. However, given that the politicians that sent them to war are themselves a bunch of dispicable, incompetant and dishonourable liars, we really shouldn't be surprised.

Sunday, 1 April 2007

slow-faster-fastest-stop!

The following is an extract from a book called Lost Japan, by Alex Kerr. I discovered it on an excellent blog site put together by a Canadian guy called Jeff.

The folding of the fukusa, the sliding movement of the feet in Noh, the grip of the sword in martial arts - everything was difficult. Moreover, as the seminar progressed, it became clear that these movements were not merely ornamental, but expressed a philosophy. For instance, I encountered the rhythm jo, ha, kyu, zanshin; basically this is quite simple, amounting to "slow, fast, faster, stop". When wiping the tea scoop with the fukusa in the tearoom, we were taught to start slowly (jo) speed up a bit at the center of the scoop (ha) and finish off at the end quickly (kyu). At the instant one draws the fukusa off the tip of the scoop, there is the closing zanshin, which means "leaving behind the heart". Then one returns to zero, in preparation for the next rhythn of jo, ha, kyu.At first I thought this rhythm was a pecularity of tea, but I soon found that it applies in exactly the same way to the foot movements and raising of the fan in Noh drama. In martial arts and calligraphy as well, this rhythm governs all movements. Over the course of the seminar I realized that jo, ha, kyu underlies every single one of Japan's traditional arts. The teachers went on to explain that jo, ha, kyu, zanshin is the fundamental rhythm of nature - it defines the destinies of men, the course of eras, even the growth of galaxies and the very ebb and flow of the universe.-Alex Kerr

Thursday, 29 March 2007

Labour are not the only hypocrites

Conservative spokesman Liam Fox has just appeared on TV commenting on the capture of 15 British service personnel by Iran. His argument was that this seizure was "illegal, outrageous and completely against International law." What a shame he didn't use such vociferous language against the war in Iraq. If the Conservatives had made such a stand before the invasion, maybe our people wouldn't be put in harms way in the first place.

Wednesday, 28 March 2007

The Rotten Heart of London

The Kyodo News Agency reported that Ken Livingstone, mayor of London, has launched an amazing racist tirade against the Japanese nation, inferring that the Japanese Embassy’s refusal to pay the congestion charge is somehow linked to past war atrocities. Speaking at a news conference about congestion charging, he told the LBC radio station, "I think there are several problems with Japan that we could go on about here. Admitting their guilt for all the war crimes would be one thing. So if they've not got round to doing that, I doubt they're too worried about the congestion charge."

The Embassies of around 50 nations are refusing to pay the congestion charge because they argue the charge is in fact a tax, which under diplomatic law they are therefore exempt from paying. The United States is reported to be the worst offender, notching up an incredible £891,000 in unpaid fines. Several African nations are well over the £500,000 mark, while Japan is sitting on a relatively modest £312,000 of unpaid tickets. The revolt over congestion charging was lead by the US and Germany in 2005. So why doesn’t Ken Livingstone attribute Germany’s refusal to pay to its Nazi beliefs? Or condemn the Americans for their savage imperialism in the Middle East which has left countless thousands dead and whole nations in ruins? Why is it that amongst all the countries of the world, Japan is the only country where it is acceptable to tar an entire culture with one collective brush?

A look at the BBC news website will reveal a similar racist bias against the Japanese - giving free reign to Chinese commentators to rage against Japan for past atrocities, while conveniently forgetting about more contemporary Chinese misdemeanours such as Tibet and the brutal crushing of the democracy movement in Tiananmen Square. Everyone seems to have forgotten too about past British atrocities such as the massacre of 120 innocent men women and children at Amritsar in the 1920’s. Why is it that everybody finds it so easy to condemn Japanese people?

Most people would answer that question by saying – like Livingstone – that it’s because the Japanese have never been held to account for wartime aggression. That may or may not be true, but nobody ever asks why that might be: Why is it that comparatively few Japanese wartime leaders were executed or imprisoned after the war? Why is it that Japanese people were never, and still aren’t being given the opportunity to understand and acknowledge their country’s role in the Pacific war? Why doesn’t anybody ever question why the Japanese went to war in the first place?

The injustice of Livingstone’s remarks are that they in effect accuse all Japanese people of being complicit in wartime atrocities, when in actual fact most Japanese people today have very little understanding or knowledge of the war. Why? Because the US conveniently ripped-out that page of the history books to serve its own interests in post-war Asia. It allowed Japanese political, industrial and military leaders to escape trial, so they could help rebuild Japan in America’s image, thus providing a bulwark against the spread of communism in Asia and a convenient trading post for America. Not too mention, of course, a captive supply of cheap manufactured goods, rather like the US theft of the Iraqi people’s oil wealth. Of course it could only achieve this by also changing the perspective of the Japanese people themselves, who were encouraged to believe that their own culture is tainted: Prior to their adopting Western “civilisation” Japanese culture is often either not mentioned, devalued or seen somehow as sub-standard. People also forget that, like Germany, Japan was effectively under a military dictatorship at the time of the war. It’s therefore difficult to see the justification of labelling an entire nation as war criminals, for a war they know nothing about and in which they were not complicit,. It would be just as preposterous and outageous to label all American’s “baby-killers” for their guilt in the Vietnam war or all modern-day Germans as Nazis.

And while we are on the subject of wars fought in Asia, it’s also worth reminding ourselves why Japan was forced down the road to war in the first place: America’s commercial and political interests in Asia led it to intervene militarily in Japan’s internal affairs. Commodore Perry’s fleet of US warships that arrived in Tokyo Bay in 1853 effectively forced the Japanese to respond by adopting Western-style militarism, setting in motion a chain of events that would inevitably lead it into conflict.

In some ways, I agree with Livingstone that war criminals should not be allowed to hide their crimes under a cover of silence. The only problem is, he needs to start a little higher up his list of unpaid parking tickets to find the real criminals in this story.

Sunday, 25 March 2007

Free the mind and your ass will follow!

Writing in his work Hei-Ho-Kaden-Sho (Hereditary Manual of Martial Arts), Yagyu Munenori (1571-1647) said ,"A mind that stops changing and becomes rigid will result in disaster. While mind, with no shape and no colour, is imperceptable to the eyes, it is still recognisable if it is fixed and strays over something. Just as white silk becomes red in colour if it is stained with red dyes, so the human mind becomes visible if it is stained by emotion or thought." Achieving the state of mushin ("no mind") is the goal of martial arts training. A mind that is visible because it is coloured by thought or emotion, cannot by definition be in a state of mushin. No embu in Iaido should therefore show the emotions or thought because this would betray a mind that is fixed and rigid. This illustrates the link between Zen philosophy and martial arts very well. A mind that is visible to an enemy means that he can easily devise a strategy to gain victory. A mind that is free and can move without restriction cannot be caught in this way.